Today in Primary there was this video shared by one of the ladies in the primary presidency and it touched me a lot. This morning I almost didn't go to church just because I didn't feel well at all, sore throat, headache, feverish, etc. etc. Well thanks to the fact that I couldn't find a sub and my encouraging husband :). I decided to go anyway, even though it hurt to talk even. Anyway, I slept a little longer than usually and with some nice cold remedies such as hot water, honey and lemon homemade tea. I made it to church feeling not 100% but doing alright considering how I felt when I woke up earlier that morning. After teaching class, or should I say doing a video (Daniel and the Lion's Den), we went to sharing time.
This video I posted is a talk from Thomas S. Monson or little parts of it, about the service given by Primary children. It was so touching I cried....Yeah been doing that a lot lately. I was joking with Ashly about how I used to never cry and now it's like my tear ducts have learned their true function all of a sudden. Adrien is a witness to the fact that I cried during Toy Story 3...I know, but the end was really touching for me!
Anyway, the message of warm fuzzies is a nice reminder to us about how by small and simple service actions can sometimes make a big difference. I definitely want to do something like that when I have kids in our home. I think it is such a great idea. Warm Fuzzies are the best! I love it when Pres. Monson tells stories like this I feel a lot more connected to what he is saying and am touched by what he says, I feel a greater desire to change and to become better. He truly is a prophet of God.
I made rolls today, just because they sounded good, I love rolls when they are just out of the oven, they smell warm and divine. I love thanksgiving I can't wait until it's here!
well that's all for now! let me know what you think of the video I added!
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
First "BLIND" Date
The first place we went to was Mimi's Cafe. That restaurant will always hold a special place in my heart just because it is where Adrien and I had our first date. I remember waiting for the table and listening intently to everything going on in our double date, between the French and English, it was interesting. Pretty much once we got to our table.
Adrien and I started talking more exclusively with one another, mostly because James and Minh Anh were talking so intently in french to one another. I had wondered if he was going to be just like every other guy. But he was different, very different besides the obvious cultural differences, he was a challenge. I couldn't pinpoint him right on the spot and that was intriguing, I felt myself drawn in to what he was saying about French dating and just his observations and what he had found interesting about the whole experience of being "here". "Here" was home, my home, the place I was born, the United States of America. You don't think about it too much as you are going about your daily routines with school and work but this is home and it was strange to think that this was a place completely foreign to this guy sitting next to me. We spoke about the differences in French dating and American dating while we waited for our food, he opened up about how in France you just "hook-up" sometimes with just knowing the person a very short while, when I saw a short while I mean like if you hit it off, you hook up, which can happen sometimes in an hour. I was completely shocked to hear this and that this form of dating was used even in LDS culture. Where as some people don't starting going "steady" for a while here sometimes weeks, even months. Then as far a physical matters are concerned and this entirely depends on the person, but I'm just speak from my personal experience.
I had never kissed on a first date and at times dated people for some time without even kissing them at all. I personally had tried hard not to focus on the physical and get to know the person and care for them truly before I threw in physical affections such as cuddling and kissing. However, Adrien was telling me that was almost never the case in France and that when you go on a date you are "dating" that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend. So there isn't really "dating" over there you could say at least the same as it is here. Once you like someone you just start dating them and I guess if you figure out it isn't working you just break-up within a week, two weeks, a month, 2 years, however long it is. I feel here, we take the huge leap of saying a person is your boyfriend or girlfriend I mean it's a completely different relationship that entitles serious commitment and exclusiveness.
Anyway, as this was being spoken about, I shot a quick glance at Minh Anh and James who were getting cozier...and cozier...I suddenly got nervous and looked at Adrien who gave me a smile and look that seriously made me feel like he could see right through me, and I felt extremely exposed. It's like he had read my mind, which probably wasn't too hard to notice but still, I hope he couldn't read me that well 'what was he expecting'?? I had just explained to him and he was on an American date. I suddenly felt that I should make it clear by being as platonic as possible or else he might get mixed signals. After all, come on, he's from the other side of the world. Even starting to like him would be a mistake, because there would be no chance that I would ever see him again. I don't do flings, or "short stories" as my sweet now sister'n'law calls them. I didn't want him to say he had some fling with an American girl either, the very thought offended me already even though Adrien had not given me any wrong ideas of his intentions.
In fact, he seemed kinda perfect, tactful, considerate, overall good manners, clean appearance, and like I had mentioned before, smelled A-mazing...Funny too, I found myself being surprised by his quick humor and intelligence that seemed to exceed what was normal for his age. His maturity impressed me, and the more i got to know him the more I disliked the fact that I did like what I was hearing, it was amazing how much we had in common. When he said some things it was as if he had voiced thoughts that I had had previously at one time or another. It was almost bizarre, how someone from an entirely different place could have feelings and thoughts that almost mirrored my own. We had a lot of the same views and the overall conversation was agreeable, no awkward moments just excitement as we became more and more engrossed in conversation and intrigue. I didn't want to outwardly mention how much I was initially starting to like him, I just felt myself and my cheeks especially getting a little warmer every time we had a "moment" when I say "moment" I mean that initial connection that two people experience and it's remarkable and special and it happened too much for my taste.
So after dinner, we had brainstormed about what to do next, well finally I suggested we go to a local comedy club in Provo. That was clean and funny, usually entertaining sometimes they had dry nights, but I thought it might be culturally interesting for the boys especially since it was totally American humor mixed in with a little LDS humor as well. I mean let's be honest like 95% of Provo is Mormon. I figured it would be a little different then what they were used to, even though I didn't know at all what french humor was like nor had I had any prior experience with the exception of Minh Anh, but I thought mostly that it would be interesting to see their reactions.
Remarkably enough, Adrien understood a lot more innuendos then I thought he would. He seemed to catch on quite well and I of course was laughing my head off, it was a funny night for comedy sportz. However, Minh Anh had to explain more than half in French to James so he was laughing usually a few seconds after everyone else, it was really enjoyable. Then all of a sudden out of the blue Adrien puts his arm around me resting on the chair behind me. I shot Minh Anh a wide eyed glance shocked. What did this mean? He wasn't holding my shoulder, his arm was just resting on my back of my chair touching my back.
My heart was pounding and I felt a bit of adrenaline rush through me, what was this subtle gesture implying, interest? platonic affection? Was it a french thing? I had no clue. Was he seriously giving me a sign that he liked me and was interested and was open to...to...I don't know what? what could there be? I was so distracted by these thoughts and many others as the comedian came up and asked to say a phrase all together and I missed it entirely looking stupid because I was so caught up in what was going on between me and this french guy next to me. Oh he must think he's soooo suave, it was so frustrating that I was getting inwardly flustered. How could he be so cool and calm, and he just looked at me and smiled a dashing smile and I literally felt weak at the knees. I'm usually the calm, cool one, nope, I think I had just met my match.
Earlier in the restroom where Minh anh and I had had a woman-woman talk about the boys I had admitted I was interested and liked him but did I mean just generally or was there something more? We were all having such a good time that we decided to drive around and keep the night going longer, we had gotten the idea to do a Sunday meal where we could invite some more people over after church for the guys to meet so we decided to go to wal-mart and then go back to Minh Anh's house which was a little distance away but somewhere we could just relax and talk, plus that is where Adrien's family was staying at the time.
When we went to Wal-Mart for supplies it was hilarious to see the child-like WOW expressions on their faces, I don't think they'd ever seen a superstore quite like it. Adrien was amazed that Wal-Mart seemed to have EVERYTHING...I already knew a little bit about markets and stores over in France from previous conversations with Minh Anh. But there isn't anything quite like Wal-Mart over there, I mean there's similar stores but not quite so BIG.
That's the other thing everything was Big to Adrien, the glasses, the food quantity, even the refills amazed both James and Adrien. I learned that night that they don't have root beer in France which is personally my favorite soda so I can see how precious root beer was to Adrien when later on he bought a huge big gulp from 7-eleven. More root beer than I drink in a month. So when we got back to Minh Anh's, Minh Anh and I changed into comfortable clothes PJ-like clothes and we continued the evening. The night was still young lol....Okay so normally I don't agree with staying up all night with a date blah blah blah, I know we were breaking about 10 BYU standard rules that night, we were having such a great time.
We opened a bottle of apple cider and sat in the basement and talked until very late in the night just the four of us. Well it turned more exclusive later on as Minh Anh and James got cozier and Adrien and I had a mini converation on his palm. I know it sounds a little dorky but it was cute at the same time. I found myself being exposed again as he seemed to know me all to well for just having met me. I was not embarrassed but began to share and speak about things that normally I was reluctant to share with most people.
He did the same and I listened as he explained different goals and things he had came to a conclusion of while on his mission and how much he loved serving people. My heart was so touched by his love of serving others and found that was something I wished I was better at. I really gained a lot of respect and admiration for him with that silent conversation where only typed words and expressions were used to communicate. I can't remember how it happened, but it was almost immediate how we just held hands and spoke to one another. There wasn't anything passionate or overly romantic but just like I mentioned before "moments". Moments I'll never forget, we later moved to a different part of the house and just spoke until well into the hours of the night.
That's the first time I was up all night long on a date just talking, it was so addicting both of us, not wanting to part just wanting to know more and more as if we'd lived so long just to meet and were so dehydrated and wanted to drink in as much as possible. Our conversation was interrupted by people stirring and waking up for church that day. I couldn't believe how long we had talked. I didn't want to leave him we were so close! We'd ended up cuddling a bit whilst continuing to speak and now that his arms were fully around me I didn't want to leave!
But to not arise any eyebrows or suspicious glances our way we resolved to part and get ready for the day as to not give any impression that we were being inappropriate in anyway. As Minh Anh and I got ready for church, I was feeling so good I could sing and dance and lalallalalalallala through the day. Then one thought sank into me like a dark cloud on a sunny day. What had happened? Did I find myself starting to get giddy over a guy I just met not only that someone who I might possible never see again after today. I began to feel slowly more and more saddened at the thought. Lala land had been interrupted by this terrible truth...after today, I'm never seeing Adrien again.
Adrien and I started talking more exclusively with one another, mostly because James and Minh Anh were talking so intently in french to one another. I had wondered if he was going to be just like every other guy. But he was different, very different besides the obvious cultural differences, he was a challenge. I couldn't pinpoint him right on the spot and that was intriguing, I felt myself drawn in to what he was saying about French dating and just his observations and what he had found interesting about the whole experience of being "here". "Here" was home, my home, the place I was born, the United States of America. You don't think about it too much as you are going about your daily routines with school and work but this is home and it was strange to think that this was a place completely foreign to this guy sitting next to me. We spoke about the differences in French dating and American dating while we waited for our food, he opened up about how in France you just "hook-up" sometimes with just knowing the person a very short while, when I saw a short while I mean like if you hit it off, you hook up, which can happen sometimes in an hour. I was completely shocked to hear this and that this form of dating was used even in LDS culture. Where as some people don't starting going "steady" for a while here sometimes weeks, even months. Then as far a physical matters are concerned and this entirely depends on the person, but I'm just speak from my personal experience.
I had never kissed on a first date and at times dated people for some time without even kissing them at all. I personally had tried hard not to focus on the physical and get to know the person and care for them truly before I threw in physical affections such as cuddling and kissing. However, Adrien was telling me that was almost never the case in France and that when you go on a date you are "dating" that person is your boyfriend or girlfriend. So there isn't really "dating" over there you could say at least the same as it is here. Once you like someone you just start dating them and I guess if you figure out it isn't working you just break-up within a week, two weeks, a month, 2 years, however long it is. I feel here, we take the huge leap of saying a person is your boyfriend or girlfriend I mean it's a completely different relationship that entitles serious commitment and exclusiveness.
Anyway, as this was being spoken about, I shot a quick glance at Minh Anh and James who were getting cozier...and cozier...I suddenly got nervous and looked at Adrien who gave me a smile and look that seriously made me feel like he could see right through me, and I felt extremely exposed. It's like he had read my mind, which probably wasn't too hard to notice but still, I hope he couldn't read me that well 'what was he expecting'?? I had just explained to him and he was on an American date. I suddenly felt that I should make it clear by being as platonic as possible or else he might get mixed signals. After all, come on, he's from the other side of the world. Even starting to like him would be a mistake, because there would be no chance that I would ever see him again. I don't do flings, or "short stories" as my sweet now sister'n'law calls them. I didn't want him to say he had some fling with an American girl either, the very thought offended me already even though Adrien had not given me any wrong ideas of his intentions.
In fact, he seemed kinda perfect, tactful, considerate, overall good manners, clean appearance, and like I had mentioned before, smelled A-mazing...Funny too, I found myself being surprised by his quick humor and intelligence that seemed to exceed what was normal for his age. His maturity impressed me, and the more i got to know him the more I disliked the fact that I did like what I was hearing, it was amazing how much we had in common. When he said some things it was as if he had voiced thoughts that I had had previously at one time or another. It was almost bizarre, how someone from an entirely different place could have feelings and thoughts that almost mirrored my own. We had a lot of the same views and the overall conversation was agreeable, no awkward moments just excitement as we became more and more engrossed in conversation and intrigue. I didn't want to outwardly mention how much I was initially starting to like him, I just felt myself and my cheeks especially getting a little warmer every time we had a "moment" when I say "moment" I mean that initial connection that two people experience and it's remarkable and special and it happened too much for my taste.
So after dinner, we had brainstormed about what to do next, well finally I suggested we go to a local comedy club in Provo. That was clean and funny, usually entertaining sometimes they had dry nights, but I thought it might be culturally interesting for the boys especially since it was totally American humor mixed in with a little LDS humor as well. I mean let's be honest like 95% of Provo is Mormon. I figured it would be a little different then what they were used to, even though I didn't know at all what french humor was like nor had I had any prior experience with the exception of Minh Anh, but I thought mostly that it would be interesting to see their reactions.
Remarkably enough, Adrien understood a lot more innuendos then I thought he would. He seemed to catch on quite well and I of course was laughing my head off, it was a funny night for comedy sportz. However, Minh Anh had to explain more than half in French to James so he was laughing usually a few seconds after everyone else, it was really enjoyable. Then all of a sudden out of the blue Adrien puts his arm around me resting on the chair behind me. I shot Minh Anh a wide eyed glance shocked. What did this mean? He wasn't holding my shoulder, his arm was just resting on my back of my chair touching my back.
My heart was pounding and I felt a bit of adrenaline rush through me, what was this subtle gesture implying, interest? platonic affection? Was it a french thing? I had no clue. Was he seriously giving me a sign that he liked me and was interested and was open to...to...I don't know what? what could there be? I was so distracted by these thoughts and many others as the comedian came up and asked to say a phrase all together and I missed it entirely looking stupid because I was so caught up in what was going on between me and this french guy next to me. Oh he must think he's soooo suave, it was so frustrating that I was getting inwardly flustered. How could he be so cool and calm, and he just looked at me and smiled a dashing smile and I literally felt weak at the knees. I'm usually the calm, cool one, nope, I think I had just met my match.
Earlier in the restroom where Minh anh and I had had a woman-woman talk about the boys I had admitted I was interested and liked him but did I mean just generally or was there something more? We were all having such a good time that we decided to drive around and keep the night going longer, we had gotten the idea to do a Sunday meal where we could invite some more people over after church for the guys to meet so we decided to go to wal-mart and then go back to Minh Anh's house which was a little distance away but somewhere we could just relax and talk, plus that is where Adrien's family was staying at the time.
When we went to Wal-Mart for supplies it was hilarious to see the child-like WOW expressions on their faces, I don't think they'd ever seen a superstore quite like it. Adrien was amazed that Wal-Mart seemed to have EVERYTHING...I already knew a little bit about markets and stores over in France from previous conversations with Minh Anh. But there isn't anything quite like Wal-Mart over there, I mean there's similar stores but not quite so BIG.
That's the other thing everything was Big to Adrien, the glasses, the food quantity, even the refills amazed both James and Adrien. I learned that night that they don't have root beer in France which is personally my favorite soda so I can see how precious root beer was to Adrien when later on he bought a huge big gulp from 7-eleven. More root beer than I drink in a month. So when we got back to Minh Anh's, Minh Anh and I changed into comfortable clothes PJ-like clothes and we continued the evening. The night was still young lol....Okay so normally I don't agree with staying up all night with a date blah blah blah, I know we were breaking about 10 BYU standard rules that night, we were having such a great time.
We opened a bottle of apple cider and sat in the basement and talked until very late in the night just the four of us. Well it turned more exclusive later on as Minh Anh and James got cozier and Adrien and I had a mini converation on his palm. I know it sounds a little dorky but it was cute at the same time. I found myself being exposed again as he seemed to know me all to well for just having met me. I was not embarrassed but began to share and speak about things that normally I was reluctant to share with most people.
He did the same and I listened as he explained different goals and things he had came to a conclusion of while on his mission and how much he loved serving people. My heart was so touched by his love of serving others and found that was something I wished I was better at. I really gained a lot of respect and admiration for him with that silent conversation where only typed words and expressions were used to communicate. I can't remember how it happened, but it was almost immediate how we just held hands and spoke to one another. There wasn't anything passionate or overly romantic but just like I mentioned before "moments". Moments I'll never forget, we later moved to a different part of the house and just spoke until well into the hours of the night.
That's the first time I was up all night long on a date just talking, it was so addicting both of us, not wanting to part just wanting to know more and more as if we'd lived so long just to meet and were so dehydrated and wanted to drink in as much as possible. Our conversation was interrupted by people stirring and waking up for church that day. I couldn't believe how long we had talked. I didn't want to leave him we were so close! We'd ended up cuddling a bit whilst continuing to speak and now that his arms were fully around me I didn't want to leave!
But to not arise any eyebrows or suspicious glances our way we resolved to part and get ready for the day as to not give any impression that we were being inappropriate in anyway. As Minh Anh and I got ready for church, I was feeling so good I could sing and dance and lalallalalalallala through the day. Then one thought sank into me like a dark cloud on a sunny day. What had happened? Did I find myself starting to get giddy over a guy I just met not only that someone who I might possible never see again after today. I began to feel slowly more and more saddened at the thought. Lala land had been interrupted by this terrible truth...after today, I'm never seeing Adrien again.
Friday, November 5, 2010
OUT OF TIME
So I was going to write a lot more tonight, but it took me a long time to figure out this photo idea. It's already time for bed!! Anyway enjoy the updates to my blog, what does everyone think of my header pic and design? Let me know. I wanted it to kinda look soft, oldish, and sweet. I don't know why I thought of putting it together the way it was but there you go! let me know what you think!
First date story to come...
Write again soon....
First date story to come...
Write again soon....
Monday, November 1, 2010
You can't succeed without failing sometimes
I came home today and kneeled down in front of my husband, and bursted into tears like a weeping child. I buried my face into his chest and let out a good cry what therapy that can sometimes be. He is so wonderful and I feel guilty sometimes that I'm not stronger. Today, I found out that I have to do my math class all over again. I don't want to do it, it's that simple.
I'm not bad at Math, but this is a horribly hard math class. My father says I'm a bit softer in the mathematics/and mathematical sciences. I did not want to believe this and worked hard, but this poor psychology major did fail and I hate it when I fail. It's just plain lousy...On a more positive note, I will be able to breeze through the assignments and hopefully do better second time around, I've never failed any class before in my life so this is a humbling experience for me.
I feel like this is a set back in my education, but it's only supposed to make me stronger I'm assuming...I really worked so hard and feel completely spent, I don't want to do it again! I am asking God, to please give me strength to do this! One of my favorite quotes about falling down and having to try again is from Thomas Palmer, "Tis a lesson you should heed, Try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again."
I'm not bad at Math, but this is a horribly hard math class. My father says I'm a bit softer in the mathematics/and mathematical sciences. I did not want to believe this and worked hard, but this poor psychology major did fail and I hate it when I fail. It's just plain lousy...On a more positive note, I will be able to breeze through the assignments and hopefully do better second time around, I've never failed any class before in my life so this is a humbling experience for me.
I feel like this is a set back in my education, but it's only supposed to make me stronger I'm assuming...I really worked so hard and feel completely spent, I don't want to do it again! I am asking God, to please give me strength to do this! One of my favorite quotes about falling down and having to try again is from Thomas Palmer, "Tis a lesson you should heed, Try, try again. If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again."
"IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED"
"WE ARE NOT fast learners. In fact, we don't learn at all. Not anything of substance, at least. All we learn is fear; and fear is overwhelmed by need; and need finds its ally in hope. We do not learn to stop trying. We fall down and some kind soul picks us up and dries away our tears and pats us and powders us and sends us on our way again. We put out timid feelers, ready instantly to retract at the slightest rebuff, but we keep on putting them out. A shy and hopeful smile greets every prospect, though if it is not returned, we may pretend that we were just smiling to ourselves. We are ashamed at our need and try to hide it, but everybody knows. They know because they are like us. Everybody's been there, or is there, or is going there soon. Everybody. In matters of the heart, there is no respect of persons.May 10'Tis a lesson you should heed,
Try, try again.
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try again. - Thomas H. Palmer (1782 - 1861) Teacher's Manual (1840)3/17/99
© 1999 David Lance Goines. Last changed: 03/28/2005 00:02:02"
Anyway just some food for thought there, don't feel bad it happens to everyone we all have to fail one way or another or we can't succeed! So I take a deep breath and stand up and keep going. When you feel at the bottom there's no other way to go but UP! :)
Besides that little factor, today was great, my husband made dinner for me, what a wonderful MAN!!! I was feeling a little down tonight and even though he was getting over the flu (he was not well at all yesterday) he still made a lovely dinner and comforted me in my moment of disappointment to the point that I feel just fine. All is well!
Good night All!
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